The Hunted/Script
the Khaki Barn, Nikki is printing out a really long receipt. Nikki: "Yep, I'm doomed. It's gonna cost a small fortune." Kirsten: "What are you doing?" Nikki: "Calculating the cost of my future therapy bills." Kirsten: "Uh, whatever? So, like the new scoop-necked tube tops?" Nikki: "...I'll be in the change rooms." walks towards the changing rooms. When she gets there, she finds a really hot guy outside the rooms. She scans his body. "Hel-lo." she gets back to his face, he's looking at her. "Hey." over "You work at Albatross & Finch. Isn't it forbidden for you guys to buy from the Khaki Barn? We're at retail war with you." Hunter: shrugging "It's just a job. I'm saving my money to go traveling next summer." Nikki: "Really? Me too." Hunter: "I've always wanted to take the Old Silk Roads through Asia." Nikki: "Whoa! I've had that trip planned in my head since my Grade 8 poly-sci project!" Hunter: on a shirt "Nice! Maybe I'll see you there. Hey, don't tell anyone I bought this, okay? Just in case we declare war on your Khaki butts next week." Nikki: "Okay." and Nikki grin at each other. They hold this pose for a few seconds before Hunter pulls away. Hunter: "It's weird. I feel like we really connected just now." leaving "You should stop by on your break sometime." Nikki: "All right! I mean, sure. Uh, okay. Maybe." he's gone "EEEEEE-HEEEEE!" ---- The opening credits roll. The title of this episode is '''The Hunted' ---- ''is alone at a table by the Big Squeeze, drawing something in a book. Caitlin runs up. Caitlin: "Hey Nikki!" quickly slams the book shut. "Who's Hunter?" Nikki: "Just a guy." Caitlin: "C'mon!" grabs the book and flips through it. "You would never just write any guy's name in your journal." Nikki: "All right..." excited "He came into the Khaki Barn today and we had this amazing conversation! I'm just not sure if he likes me likes me. Y'know?" Caitlin: "Leave it to me. I'll get the goods." Nikki: "Oh, I don't know, Caitlin." Caitlin: "Don't worry! I'll just engage him in a little casual conversation." walks by wielding a staple gun and a stack of fliers. He stops and puts one on the Big Squeeze. Caitlin: "Hey! You can't just staple any flier onto my lemon! What's it for?" Jonesy: "A psychic hotline. Some dude gave me twenty bucks to put them all over the mall so I say sa-weet." Jude, and Wyatt walk up to their friends. Jude sits down. Wyatt: at the flier "Weird. It's only one digit off of Underground Video's number." Nikki: "Well, if you ask me, it's all a load of–" stops talking as Hunter walks by. Hunter: waving "Hey." watches him walk happily, taking a sip of her drink. Caitlin notices. Caitlin: "That's him, isn't it!" Jen: after Hunter "Him who?" Nikki: Caitlin "Ssh!" Caitlin: "Nikki's new crush Hunter!" Nikki: "Urgh!" Caitlin: "Sorry." Jen: "Well hel-lo, Nikki. You've reached the psychic hotline, and I predict a summer of love." Nikki: groaning "I hate this!" ---- is tending the sales counter at A&F while Caitlin shops. Caitlin's phone rings. Caitlin: "Hi!" Nikki: "So what'd he say?" Caitlin: "Go get yourself a smoothie and leave the love exploiting to me." hangs up and walks up to the sales counter. "Hey. I was just wondering if I could ask you something." Hunter: "Hey, wait, I know you! You're in my gym class! Caitlin, right?" Caitlin: "Yeah! So, I have a question–" Hunter: "Hold on, let me ask you something first. You've got great style, what do you think about this for our new uniform?" holds up some clothes. Caitlin: "You're asking me to pick the new Albatross & Finch uniforms?" Hunter: "Yeah, you're clearly an Albatross & Finch girl." Caitlin: "I do read all of the catalogs. Well, it's great. But I'd go with the longer destroyed shorts in mud brown. More fall appropriate." Hunter: "That's exactly what I said! Wow. It's like we're...really in sync." Caitlin: "I know." look at each other, grinning. "Okay, so I was gonna ask you–" Hunter: "Do you wanna grab a bite with me tonight?" Caitlin: her mission "I'd love to!" Hunter: "Seven o'clock okay?" Caitlin: "Seven's perfect!" turns to go. Hunter: "Hey, didn't you want to ask me something?" Caitlin: to remember "Um...no. I don't think so." Hunter: "Well, just don't forget our date." Caitlin: "I won't." leaves. Once out of earshot, Caitlin congratulates herself. "I rock I rock I r–oh no! Nikki! What have I done?" has stopped across the hall from the Khaki Barn. Her phone starts ringing, and she answers. "Hello?" Nikki: "So what happened? I'm dying here!" Caitlin: fibbing "Operation Get Hunter was a total success!" herself on the head "In fact, you have a date with him tonight at the Gigantoplex! Seven o'clock." Nikki: "No! Oh, thanks Caitlin!" Caitlin: "I–it was no p-problem. Really." ends the call. The implications of her actions sink in. "What did I do?" ---- and Jude are at work when the store phone rings. They begin to tussle over it. Wyatt: "No–no–it's mine–give it–I got–" walks over and answers the phone. His employees continue to fight. Wayne: "Hello, Underground Video." the response "Listen, I'm only gonna tell you this one more time–SHUT UP!" and Wyatt quit fighting. "This is not, repeat NOT, the psychic hotline!" hangs up. "Man! That's the fourteenth time today that Lydia chick has called! I'm surrounded by idiots!" Wyatt: "I totally saw this one coming." Jude: "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Wyatt: "Definitely! Hey, maybe I am psychic!" ---- has put up all his fliers in the food court. They're all in the same specific area around the lemon. Jonesy: "Finished in record time." Fréderika: "Freeze!" Jonesy: "Huh?" Fréderika: "I have never seen such a perfect neck!" Jonesy: "Uhokay, hot Euro-chick." Fréderika: "I am Fréderika Casanoveda. International Parts Modeling." Jonesy: "Jonesy. Flier distribution." Fréderika: him "Such long, lean neck tendons. Such an amazing chiseled jawline." Jonesy: flattered "Well, I do take care of myself." Fréderika: "You will be bigger than Jono! He is the wrist behind the new Rollout Watch campaign." Jonesy: "Oh yeah! I love that guy!" Fréderika: "Then it's settled. You will be my new top neck model." Jonesy: "Sweet." ---- on patrol, drives by Underground Video. Inside, the phone rings, and Jude puts it on speaker. Jude: "Psychic Hotline. We put the sick back in psychic." Wyatt: whispering "We're going to need a better line." Lydia: "Hi! Okay, here's the thing. I'm totally head-over-heels for this guy Jonesy–" the name, the psychics stifle their laughter "–but he never even notices me! What should I do?" Jude: giggles "Let's see what the cards say." plucks a tarot card at random from a deck and reads it incorrectly. "Well, uh, they say to uh, stand in the fountain like a scarecrow. Your dream dude will find you there." Lydia: amazed "Cool! Okay thanks!" hangs up. Jude and Wyatt laugh. Another call comes in. Wyatt: it on speaker "Psychic Hotline, we take the guesswork out of tomorrow." Coach Halder: "Yeah, hi. I got a major sporting dilemma." Jude: gleefully "It's Coach Halder!" Coach Halder: sheepish "Yeah, I'm training to run the marathon, but I'm craving a hot fudge sundae." shakes a magic eight-ball. "What should I do?" Wyatt: the answer "Seize the day?" Jude: "Seize the sun''dae, marathon dude!" ''call ends, and Jude and Wyatt hi-five. ---- enters the Khaki Barn changing rooms wearing a revealing pink top and tight jeans. Caitlin: "So? Nikki! You look so pretty!" Kirsten: "Get past all the eyeliner, and you're really not that ugly!" Nikki: "Gee, thanks." eyes widen as she notices the time. Caitlin: "Oh my gosh! I totally have to get ready for my date!" Nikki: "Oh. You have a date tonight too?" Caitlin: "Oh, I'm, uh, just grabbing burgers with my, uh, grandfather." Kirsten: "Intergenerational bonding?" Kristen: "Cute." Caitlin: "Yeah, right. Good luck, Nikki!" Nikki: smiling "Thanks." leaves the store. Caitlin: herself "Oh, I am such a bad person!" ---- so-called video store psychic hotline rings. Jude: "You've reached the Psychic Hotline. We already knew you were gonna call, 'cause we're psychics." Jonesy: "Guys! It's Jonesy! You're never gonna believe what happened! I'm gonna be the next big thing in neck modeling!" Fréderika: pictures "More attitude, darlink. That's it!" Jude: "What's neck modeling?" Jonesy: "I'm not entirely sure. But Fréderika says it's gonna net me tons of coin!" Fréderika: "Come on, darlink. We're gonna be late for your turtleneck fittink." Jonesy: "I'll call you guys later, probably when I get back from my big gig." Wyatt: "Where's that?" Jonesy: "I have no idea! Later!" and Fréderika walk past the fountain, not noticing Lydia, who is standing barefoot in the water. Lydia: "Every minute we're apart is an eternity." ---- waits outside the Gigantoplex. As time runs from 7:00 to 7:30, the crowds thin. Eventually, it is 7:45, and Hunter still hasn't shown up. Nikki sighs. ---- Halder is at the ice cream shop, enjoying a sundae. Coach Halder: "This is good! Ohhh yeah! That's nice! Mmm!" camera pans over to Caitlin and Hunter, who are sharing a booth. Caitlin: "This is so good." Hunter: "You've got some whipped cream on your nose." leans over and kisses the whipped cream off of Caitlin's nose. Outside the store, Jen walks past. Suddenly, she stops and comes back, gasping. Her fears are confirmed; she saw what she thought. Hunter: "I feel like we–we really have a connection, you know?" Caitlin: "You are so sweet." casually eats a maraschino cherry and glances out of the window. She gasps and chokes when she sights Jen. Hunter: "Are you okay?" in a fit of coughing, knocks over the sundae. Once she recovers, she hides her face in a menu. "What are you doing?" Jen: "Yeah. What are you doing, Caitlin? I need to talk to you. Now." shoves Caitlin out of the restaurant and advances on her. Caitlin: "AWK!" away "Okay, before you start yelling at me, I swear, this isn't what it looks like." Jen: "So you're not sharing a drink with the guy Nikki has a crush on." Caitlin: "Okay, so–it is what it looks like! But–here's the thing. I tried to ask out Hunter for Nikki, but he didn't give me a chance! Then he asked me out! And before I even knew what was happening–oh I said yes!" Jen: "I just have one question. Did you, or did you not, twirl your hair?" Caitlin: "Ohhhhh...yes! But–I couldn't help it! It was like I was on autoflirtpilot or something!" Jen: "Caitlin! How could you?" Caitlin: "Awnh, well, I know it was wrong, but–he's so cute!" Jen: "Are you gonna be the kind of girl who picks a guy over her best friend?!?" Caitlin: a long pause "You're right. I have to break up with Hunter." Jen: up "Thattagirl. Now you march out there and dump that hottie!" pushes Caitlin forward. ---- Caitlin returns to the table, a pink dish has been placed upon it. Caitlin: "Hunter, we need to talk." Hunter: "I asked the waiter to bring us the most romantic sundae he had. It's called the 'I Wuv You' sundae." Caitlin: upon seeing it "Aww. You did?" Hunter: "What is it you wanted to say, babe?" Caitlin: "Just that–" reconsidering "–you're the best." ---- the movie theater, the clock ticks over to 8:00, and Nikki gives up on her date. ---- work the next day, Nikki is glumly folding clothes. Chrissy and Kirsten walk over. Kirsten: "So? Did you actually get stood up at the movies? That must have been so embarrassing for you." Nikki: "Oh, would you just. Shut. Up!" walks by the store, whistling. "Oh, I'm not going to just let him get away with this. I'm gonna demand an answer." ---- Video's store phone rings. Wyatt: "Psychic Hotline." Lydia: "Yeah, so I stood in the fountain for–" sneezing "–f-for four hours, but Jonesy never came." Jude: up a tarot card "Okay. The cards say you have done well, but now you have to, uh, dress like the Easter Bunny, and grab the bull by the horns." Lydia: stuffed up "And that will get Jonesy's attention?" sneezes. Jude: "He won't be able to miss ya, bra." Lydia: "Yay!" call ends. A new call comes in. Coach Halder: "I took your advice and had the hot fudge sundae. But now I can't fit into my–uh–what kind of training advice are you giving at this physical hotline!?!" Wyatt: "It's not a physical hotline, sir. It's a psychic hotline." Coach Halder: "Oh. Oh well. Then maybe you can help me with something else. I was wondering if that little filly over at Get Wiggy With It would be interested in a date. Any ideas there?" Jude: "You do know that little filly's a dude in a wig, right?" Coach Halder: "Wha?" looks around nervously. "You're kidding." Jude: "The cards kid you not, and right now, they're telling you to get your eyes checked, pronto, dude." hangs up, and both he and Wyatt laugh. ---- is stocking clothes in Albatross & Finch. Nikki runs up and starts shooting rubber bands at him. Hunter: hit "Ouch! Hey Nikki. What's up?" Nikki: "Don't hey Nikki me! I thought we had a date! How could you just stand me up like that? Do you have any idea how humiliating that was?" Hunter: "Whoa, chill. All I did was tell you to stop by." Nikki: "But–Caitlin–didn't she come here the other day to talk to you?" Hunter: thinking "Caitlin...oh, you mean the cute blonde girl I went out with last night?" Nikki: "Wait. You and Caitlin went out on a date last night, just the two of you?" Hunter: "Yep." Nikki: "So Caitlin didn't mention me?" Hunter: "Sorry, no." Nikki: this information "Oh. Nevermind." leaves. ---- is serving Kirsten a drink when Nikki walks up. Nikki: "Hi ya, Caitlin." Caitlin: nervous "Nikki! Hi! Uh, want a free squishy?" hands it over, arm shaking. Nikki: "That's what I love about you, Caitlin. You're always thinking of other people. First you try to get me a date with Hunter, then when he stands me up and leaves me crushed, you make me a lemon squishy." Caitlin: nervously "That's the kind of friend I am." Nikki: "Oh, so you wouldn't be the kind who stabs one in the back then, huh?" gasps. Kirsten: loudly "Friend drama, by the giant lemon!" and Kristen zoom up, and the clones sit down to watch the show. Nikki: "Go on, Caitlin. Isn't there something you'd like to say?" holds the lemon squishy over Caitlin. Caitlin: scared "Okay, okay. I went out on a date with Hunter behind your back." Clones gasp. Kirsten: "This is so not right!" Caitlin: "But what was I supposed to do? Forfeit my chances with a hot guy who likes me just because you saw him first? I was only talking to him because you were too scared to." Nikki: "Exactly!" Kirsten: "Wait. You didn't even talk to him? Oh, that changes things." Chrissy: "Rules of engagement, ladies. Nikki saw him first." Caitlin: "Oh, I didn't mean to hurt you, Nikki. You have to believe me." Nikki: "After you made me stand there at the movies like an idiot for an hour? Yeah right." Kirsten: "I don't want to be on Caitlin's side anymore. Can I switch?" Chrissy: "Um, no." Caitlin: "I didn't mean to lie, really. You just looked so desperate." hits a nerve. Nikki: "Oh, that's it." slams down her drink and storms away. Caitlin: "No! I didn't mean it that way! Nikki! Come back!" ---- is in the Penalty Box, looking at sporting equipment. She picks up a baseball bat and a fencing sword. Jen: "What are you looking for, exactly?" Nikki: "Something very sharp." Jen: "This is about Hunter, isn't it." Nikki: up a crossbow "Oh great, so you knew too?" pulls her behind a shelf. "What?" Jen: "I'm not supposed to be talking to friends on duty." Nikki: "Since when?" Jen: "Since always. But we used to be able to get away with it, stupid psychic told him to get glasses, and now he's got 20/20 vision." Coach Halder: them "Masterson! No fraternizing." Jen: Nikki's crossbow away "Okay, I know you're mad at Caitlin, and you totally deserve to be, but just don't do anything you'll regret." Nikki: out "Don't worry. I'm gonna fight Caitlin fire with Caitlin fire." Jonesy: "Jen, dahling!" is in the store with a hot model on each of his arms. Jen: "Why are you walking like that?" Jonesy: "Fréderika told me to show off my good neck side at all times." Jen: "Who's Fréderika?" Fréderika: up "I am Fréderika Casanoveda." Jonesy: "She is the premiere parts modeling agent in the world." snaps his fingers. "Vete! A photo for the lovely lady." lady pulls out an autographed photo of Jonesy's neck and hands it over. Jen: "Okay then." Jonesy: "Let's roll, people." and his entourage walk out of the store. Jen slings the crossbow over her shoulder, and it goes off. The arrow traces a speedy path through the air and cuts through the rope Coach Halder is hanging from. Coach Halder: falling "MMMMMAAAAASSSSSTTEEEERRRRSSSOOOONN–" crashes. ---- spies on Hunter. She then pulls out her phone and calls him. Hunter: "Yo." Nikki: an overly girlish voice "Hey Hunter, it's Caitlin!" Hunter: "Hey Caitlin." Nikki: "Yeah, I was just calling to see if we have a date tonight? I couldn't remember because I'm so blonde! Heh heh!" Hunter: "That's okay. Who needs brains when you're so cute?" mimes gagging. Nikki: "What time are we meeting again? Uhhaha!" Hunter: "Eight o'clock." Nikki: "That's what I thought! But oh, I can't make it. Family emergency. Okay, bye bye!" hangs up. Speaking normally to herself "Uch, what did I see in that guy? Ugh!" ---- guys are at the table. Jonesy has a steaming towel over his face. Wyatt: chuckling "Should I even ask?" Jonesy: "Fréderika said it would keep my million-dollar pores open." Jude: "Are you sure you want open pores?" Jen: "Wyatt! Jude!" marches up to them. "Sit! Stay! Wayne just told me you guys are the ones giving Coach Halder all the psychic advice!" Coach Halder: "Masterson! I can see you!" Halder is still in the sports store, and yet he can see all the way to the food court. "Get back to work! Now!" Jen: "You had better disband your little hotline, or else." Wyatt: "Okay, okay! We will!" Coach Halder: "Masterson!" Jen: back to the store "Yeah yeah, I'm coming." Jonesy: "Busted!" laughs. Suddenly, a pink bunny slams full-force into him. Lydia: "Grab the bull by the horns!" staggers around, trying to get her off. Jonesy: "Not the neck! It's my ticket out of suburbia! AAAAH!" and Wyatt laugh. Jude: "Making people do stupid things is way too much fun, dude." Wyatt: "We're not disbanding the hotline." hi-five. ---- spies on Caitlin, who is alone at a table in Super Terrific Happy Sushi. Huni comes up behind Caitlin. Caitlin: "I'll just wait for my date. He should be here any minute." walks off, and Caitlin begins munching on a piece of bread to pass the time. ---- we next see her, Caitlin's mascara is running and she's on the verge of a complete crying jag. Not only this, but the candle on the table has burned down almost completely and she has finished the bread. Caitlin: Huni, almost crying "I'm sorry, I guess he's not coming." to weep "And I ate all your bread!" takes the last piece and walks away as Caitlin starts crying. Nikki: "Oh, no..." walks up to Caitlin. "Okay, this isn't nearly as much fun as I thought." Caitlin: "Nikki? What are you doing here?" Nikki: "I was trying to give you a taste of your own medicine, but then I–" stops talking. Both she and Caitlin hear a familiar voice. Hunter: "You look really hot." Kirsten: on to him "Thanks. So do you." Nikki: "Hunter's on a date with Kirsten now? Ugh! What a sleazeball!" Caitlin: "I can't believe I picked a jerk like him over you!" looks downcast. "I'm sorry I was such a loser friend, Nikki. I just got carried away." Nikki: "Yeah...that's okay." Caitlin: "This is way more special than some stupid guy." Nikki: "Agreed." hears Kirsten chuckle. "Uch. What do you say we teach Hunter a lesson he won't soon forget?" Caitlin: "Definitely." Nikki "Revenge bonding! Eee!" ---- phone rings inside Underground Video. Jude: "Psychic Hotline. Not just for crazy people anymore." Astria: like Jen "Yeah. This is Astria, the owner of the real psychic hotline? If you two don't stop pretending to be me, I'm going to put a hex on you." chuckles. Wyatt: "It's a big, free, psychic world out there, sister. We're not scared of you." Astria: "Oh no?" DVD smacks into Wyatt's head. Jude catches it. Jude: "Gah! The DVD's called Hex! WHAAA!" drops the case and backs up. "No amount of fun is worth messing with my mojo, dude!" Wyatt: under the table "Consider the psychic hotline officially off the hook." hangs up. one of the DVD stacks, Jen giggles. In her hand is a cell phone. Jen: "Worked like a charm." giggles. ---- Wyatt, Jude, and Caitlin are all gathered around the Big Squeeze. Caitlin: "Look! Here comes loverboy." takes a seat in the food court with his new date: Chrissy. Nikki: "I don't believe it! He's dating Chrissy now too?" Jude: impressed "What a dude!" looks at him angrily. and Hunter are looking deep into each other's eyes when four girls walk up and look at them angrily. Kirsten: "Chrissy! You stole my man?" Greeter Goddess: "No, he's my man!" Kristen: "No, he's mine!" Gwen: "No, he's mine!" Kirsten: "Hunter, you jerk!" Greeter Goddess: "Get him, girls!" quickly makes a break for it, and his five girlfriends chase him. The four at the lemonade stand laugh. Nikki: Caitlin "Nice work." Caitlin: after him "Enjoy your dates, Hunter!" ---- gang minus Jonesy are gathered around the table. Wyatt: "I miss the psychic hotline." Jude: "Me too, dude." Nikki: "How's the Coach Halder situation? Any better?" Jen: "I waited until he put his glasses down and then I accidentally sat on them." walks up in a neck brace. Nikki: "Is that another one of Fréderika's neck-protecting devices?" Jonesy: "I wish! Ow! That Lydia chick threw herself all over me and gave me a wicked kink!" Jen: "Did you guys tell her to do that?" giggles. Jonesy: angry "That was you two? Ow!" and Wyatt hi-five each other. Wyatt: "Does this mean you won't be going to Paris like you thought?" Jonesy: "Ow! It's all over. You miss one booking and you're through, finished, kaput!" Caitlin: "Wow. Neck modeling can be a harsh and unforgiving industry." Jonesy: "Why didn't I sign that million-dollar neck insurance policy when I had the chance? Excuse me." gets up to walk away. "I have to go drown myself in a toilet." Nikki: after him "Make sure you flush!" Category:Season 2